yanapieceofme:

Me when I’m forced to go anywhere.

(via destiel-banging-in-the-impala)

bagelr:

who is ole hickory ham mike and why is he texting me

(via hanniboob-lecter)

barnse:

hi i’m peter man i mean i’m spider parker i mean fuck

(via danmangan)

realzackmerrick:

HEAVY METAL BROKE MY 

image

HEART

image

(via teenjalex)

operameister:

thisismythanksgivingurl-gobble:

agentgreenfishy:

poselikeateam:

fuck-i-just:

Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”

Why does this not have any notes?

lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”

“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”

“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”

(via hanniboob-lecter)

beyoncebeytwice:

i love how no matter how badly you fuck up benadryl cumquat’s name everyone on here still knows who ur talking about

(via patheticjunkies)

stardustacolyte:

Don’t buy a girl flowers. Flowers die. Buy her a dragon.

(via piercethevolumes)

souljagirl617:

I don’t go thru ppls pictures on their phone cause I wasn’t raised in the jungle

(via dinosaurs-with-sneakers)

official-sebastianstan:

Everyone Loves a Good Car Jam!!! - by Thomas Sanders

LITERALLY THE BEST PART IS YOU CAN SEE THE PURE SHOCK ON HIS FACE

(via spongebob-and-cats)